The Narcissistic Abuse Healing Course

In this E-course You Will Discover How to…

A Word from Course Creator & Facilitator Jeff Brown

We live in a world that is becoming more and more narcissistic all the time. To one degree or another, most of us have been in a relationship to someone with narcissistic tendencies. At the same time, there has been a growing cultural tendency to diminish or deny the experience of those who are victimized by narcissists. Many therapists shun the label ‘narcissist’, despite the fact that it accurately reflects the experience of many clients. The toxic positivity movement mischaracterizes people’s legitimate experiences of ‘victimhood’ as an illusory ‘story’, an exaggerated version of events that they should rise above. This culture of denial merely reinforces the self-deprecating conditioning that the victim already internalized from the narcissist themselves (“It’s all in your head,” “You are being too sensitive”), making it difficult for a victim to own and share their truth.

What is actually needed is the opposite: a safe space to acknowledge and fully honor our story so we can heal the trauma. If you can’t own your whole story, you can’t heal your whole story. What we need are tools and techniques that support our efforts to heal and strengthen our sense of self.

Healing and re-building from narcissistic abuse is different for everyone, depending on the dynamic, the context, and where you are at in the process. For some, it’s a release of grief and anger that stockpiled in the heart of the relationship. For others, it’s about recovering their sense of self, or actually gaining a sense of self for the first time. For some, it’s a letting go, a letting through, a letting the experience grow and change them. Sometimes it requires a process of self-forgiveness and learning how to prevent this in the future. For many, it’s about healing from the belief that there is nothing to heal—a misguided belief that was planted by the narcissist for their own benefit. What these all have in common is the prioritization of self-care and self-attunement, the re-directing of all the energy that went into feeding the narcissist’s supply back to you. This may be easy for some, and remarkably difficult for others, drained of so much energy and still so confused by the experience that they cannot find what they need to heal.

This course creates a healing space that meets you exactly where you are, and guides you to the next stage of your own unique journey. If there is one thing narcissists are good at, it is re-writing our inner narratives with their manipulated versions of reality. In this course, you are inspired to replace their voice with your own.

I come by my interest in this topic sincerely, through my own lived experience. Both of my parents were classic narcissists, and it took me many years to recognize and work through their toxic effects. It’s hard enough to heal from a later-in-life relationship with a narcissist, but healing from narcissistic parent(s) is particularly difficult because their negative messaging and lack of attunement directly impacts our development. We not only have to heal from them, we also have to find imaginative ways to mature and develop on our own. In my case, that re-parenting journey has taken many years, and continues in earnest to this day.

But much has changed. Where before I struggled with immobilizing self-hatred, unhealthy boundaries, people-pleasing patterns, and abandonment triggers, I no longer do. I now move through life with confidence, clear direction and ease. Trauma patterns surface, but far less often, and I now have the tools to work them through.

One of the things that helped me was doing the work to truly see my parents (and a later-in-life lover) for who they were. Not the version of themselves they projected, but the reality of who they were. This wasn’t possible at first, because I was enmeshed with them, and believed that I was responsible for who they had become. So I devoted myself to loving them and trying to change them. But then I grew stronger, and came to understand that I was wasting my time. Because narcissism is not something seeking growth and transformation. It is an intrinsically unchangeable parasitic structure, one that exists to be fed and maintained precisely as it is. With no capacity for self-reflection or empathic interface, it has no impetus to grow. Your job, whether you knew it or not, was to give it what it needed to remain alive in its current form. And none of this is, or ever could be, your responsibility. They may have wanted you to believe it was your fault, so you would keep elevating and nourishing them, but none of that was true. They arrived in your life that way. It is simply who they are, and it is your work to remove yourself from their grip, grow beyond them, and grant yourself permission to become all that you are meant to be.

This course reflects the substantial toolbox of techniques and practices that I explored and developed on my road to recovery. It was no easy feat, but I have been able to reach a place where the effects of narcissistic abuse seldom dominate my life. I now have a strong and sturdy sense of self, and I am capable of developing and sustaining healthy relationships in every part of my life. I feel enlivened, self-assured, and emblazoned with purpose. You can, too.

If I have a wish for you with respect to this course, it is that you arrive at the end of it feeling more deeply aware of where this wound lives inside of you, clearer on how it shows up and limits your possibilities, and that you are well on the road to healing it. If you can stay with the work for long enough, the voices of internalized blame and shame will grow quieter within you, and a voice of healthy self-regard will arise to fill the space. You will reach a place where you are too healthy to devote any of your precious life, to that which doesn’t honor and reflect your inherent self-worth. And when you genuinely reach that place, narcissists will pass you by, because they can sense that you are way too solid to be a target. At this point, you will no longer make choices sourced in an over-compensatory quest for external validation. You will make choices that are sourced in a deep and abiding self-love.

At no point in this course do I attempt to tell you how to feel or take over your process. Instead, I seek to provide tools, techniques, and insights that can support your own unique process. And to provide a safe container for your healing and transformation journey. Please join me.