Dear Dad,
It is finally our time. To heal these mortal rifts. To remember each other. We couldn’t do it until now. Liberated from your pain riddled earth-suit, I can feel you again. I am no longer afraid to get close. I know you won’t hurt me now. You have freed me to love you again. In fact, I feel you protecting me. Already. That purple sunset, that’s you right? That strengthening I feel inside- that’s you too, yes? You are speaking to me, through me. You are hearticulating your love. You have much to share. I understand- it was hard to say it then, with all that mortal pain between. But I can hear you, Papa. There’s nothing in the way now. No more hatred, no more misidentification, no more fear of showing our love. Nothing to hide, nowhere to hide it. Here we are, on the bridge between our hearts, beginning the healing. We have work to do. Lots of it. This is only our first purple sunset.
It’s an odd thing. I was sure I would abuse myself for being so distant for so long. I should have done this, or that, I should have visited more. But something has happened. I am treasuring myself. Suddenly the shame game looks ridiculous. Something more infinite is infiltrating my lens. Is that you, too? You are sending waves of kindness my way? It’s you, isn’t it? Your anger is gone- all I feel is your compassionate heart. You are speaking through me: “You must love yourself, my son. You must embody your magnificence. There is no need to doubt it. I am sorry that I shamed you”.
I need your support now. I have much left to do in my earth suit. I hope you will clear the path. I hope you will keep the dark forces at bay. Your call to write lives on in me. It was never lost. You loved it forward. I will write for you, too. The world didn’t know what greatness you are made of. But I do.
Please hold me safe until it is my time to join you, Dad. One day I will meet you there, in the wordless wonder. One day we will heal it all, in the ever knowing. One day we will ride together on the wings of our love. In the meantime, rest in love, Albert Ronald Brown. I am holding your spirit safe, too.
Jeff Brown,
You are so open and forgetful. I’m sure your ‘Papa” is hearing you and protects you from the above. He always loved you, you know that, right? He will come soon to you in your dreams, just be ready to receive him. He will speak to you, and please pay attention.
They all do it when they leave us. The good thing is that they are near us. They are our Angels. Don’t be afraid when the moment will come. Get ready.
Much love.
Oh, Jeff. This is so exquisitly beautiful! That you are open to feeling your Father’s presence and Spirit is wondrous. That you have the soul wisdom to know that he is simply Love now, and is sending that to you, is a gift. His showering of love and support for you is a miracle waiting for your acceptance. I am so happy for you that you are in this womb of tenderness and Love. It touched me so deeply when you said “the world didn’t know what greatness you are made of…. but I do… and I will continue your writing and sharing. I am so incredibly grateful for you, Jeff. for your pure and courageous heart that picks itself up each morning and begins again. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. Your words encourage me to live vulnerably, fully, and with an open heart. I know your Father must be so proud of you, his son.
Mr. Brown, Your magnificence lives on through your beloved son and he is truly an inspiration for All! Thank you for allowing him to be Born via your and Mrs.Brown’s Channel. I honour Mothers and Fathers in the Present and in the Ancestral lines! We are here to service each other in the name of Peace, Love, and Joy.
My dear estranged Dad still resides in his earth-suit. I spent 2 months composing a 6-page letter of my feelings, thoughts, forgiveness, and apologies. I pray to his Soul for a Happy Journey away from Mother Earth when he makes that decision. Our Fathers are as Great as Our Mothers. Thank you with Love
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful! From your heart to his heart and your souls rejoice in the union. Love and blessings to you both.
God Bless ~ Bravo ~ Sweet Grieving ~ I love You ❤ Mel
Jeff,
Much of what you write, resonates sooo much with me. I am very sorry to hear about the passing of your father, but.. as I like to say, they have not passed away, only passed over. Keep UP the Xcellent work of wisdom, clarity with knowledge or the knowingness you know that is in your heart.. Much blessings be ~
God Bless~ Bravo ~ Sweet Grieving~ I love You, Mel
Thank you, Jeff. These words to your abusive father reached my own wounds, inflicted by my ex-husband who died last April of prostate cancer. I experienced the love you speak of here, for my abuser, and was able to tell him before he died that he owed me nothing. I had long ago realized what he was not capable of holding himself accountable for, but I let him know, through my sobs, that we were good. He couldn’t own his abuse for what it was. But love made up for his inability. He was still accountable but I didn’t have to hear him say so. Love is big enough.
Cousin Al,
Thank you for bring Jeff into this world. He has been my rock.
Sleep well
Thank you Jeff for sharing your heart and your journey with us. Such a beautiful soul you are.
My eyes fill with tears as I read you. Carol
Beautiful articulations of words and directky from heart to heart
Thank you my brother,heart and soul, ginger
NOTICED JEFF’S VIRTUAL ASCENSION WITH BOTH FEET ON THE GROUND GREATFULL FOR YOUR BEING, PRESENCE A GIFT I ACC€PT♥《《 M£♡V£RA 》》
Thank you Jeff for the affirmation that our loved ones’ new perspective is different from the one we knew while they were wearing a body-suit here. Your post is dated July 6th, the anniversary of my mother’s passing. She has given me a similar message, one that she was not able to articulate while in the physical, but from her new vantage-point, there is only love and heart-spoken truth. Much love to you.
thank you for sharing this. these words from your father that you write, are words i always wished to hear from mine. my father is still alive and im not sure i will ever hear such words, the denial is our family is fierce, as to the truth of what occured when i was growing up. he is a different person today but here i am at age 42 healing the wounds i suffered as a child . all that was unexpressed then as it wasnt safe, is now coming up. i shake as i think of confronting him today. i know it must be done for me to be at peace. if not for aknowledgment, at least to release it from my own self. its been with me too long. thank you for your honesty
Thank you for this beautiful letter…it reached into my soul and hugged me. I lost my Dad a few years ago, and ours was a painful, brutal relationship… His anger and resentment taken out on me my entire time with him… His drinking, abuse directed at me until the end… I have been grieving for the Dad I never had… For what could have been. But I have also forgiven… And begun to heal… Hoping he is there, somewhere for me now, as you feel your Papa’s presence
Just returned from visiting my dad on the other side of teh ocean. We do not see each other more than once a year and then for a short time; a dinner, a cup of coffee. There is so much distance yet so much love.
Reading your letter above I felt a lot of emotions coming up, thinking about how I miss the connection with him, yet in this reality. I do not want to wait until he has passed on but I do not know how to speak now. I have tried. I have opened up the space for him. But he carries so much hurt and anger, opening up is probably too dangerous for him. So maybe I will just have to wait…
Thank you
Just so beautiful and so healing to hear for all those who have suffered abuse at the hands of their primary caregivers .God Bless you Jeff Brown for your bravery in sharing your story with the world .Your words are profoundly healing to many..xo
Wow this brought me to tears. I feel I have been guided to your writing. Everything you write resonates with the path I’m “now” on.I have had some recent transformational events in the year of last. I feel I’m being guided. You are helping me to put what I’ve been feeling into perspective. You are validating what I’m feeling. You are guiding me with your words. Thank you . I have a page on FB, it’s a personal Beach page that I have been running for a little over two years. I have been using many of your excerpts in my posters. Thank you, I believe you need to be shared. I love your book Love it Forwad. I do plan to buy your other works Thank you so much Jeff.